What? Me? I wasn’t speeding! The classic excuses cops hear…

When you get pulled over for speeding, the first thing you probably think is, “Darn it, I got caught!” While you wait for the cop to arrive at your window, it is time to start doing some thinking. What approach are you going to take? Should you choose the “honesty is the best policy” approach, or should you try out your acting skills and see if you can create an excuse worthy of an Emmy?

If you are going to try your hand at an excuse, proceed with caution. If it is obvious that you are lying, you may very well have talked yourself into a ticket. On the other hand, if you can pull it off, you can save yourself the hassle and money associated with a speeding ticket. Here are some of the most common excuses cops hear to help get your creative juices flowing. Some of them will work better than others.

“I didn’t realize I was speeding.”

Okay, sometimes this is actually the truth, but it is your responsibility as a driver to be aware of how fast you are going. And if you want to blame a faulty odometer, think again. You might also get a ticket for defective equipment.

“I am really late to pick up my kid (or to a doctor’s appointment, or to work, etc.).”

If you are late to something really important, the cop may sympathize with you; however, most of the time this excuse won’t get you very far.

“My wife (daughter, girlfriend) is in labor.”

This one works the best if you have your actual wife, daughter, or girlfriend with you and she is in the late stages of her pregnancy. Otherwise, if you can act nervous while staying polite the cop may just believe you.

“I am mentally distracted.”

This excuse is only for the seasoned actor. However, if done correctly, it has the best chance to get you out of a ticket. For this excuse to be the most effective you need to think of a legitimate reason that your brain was so distracted that you couldn’t focus on your speed. Perhaps you just learned of a terminal illness that you are facing. Maybe you just got news that your grandfather passed away. If you can create watery eyes and a lump in your throat this excuse may just work. Then you will just have your conscience to deal with.

Everyone speeds at one time or another, and if you can get out of a ticket, more power to you. However, you should always keep your safety and the safety of others in mind. There are speeding laws for a reason. You should make speeding the exception and not the rule.